"i don't like any of it. none.

 all the perks have been thrown out the window, along with my enthusiasm. it seem like a shameful part

 of me. and i would wish to keep my secrets, well.. secret. 

 i told you i wanted to get better, but i don't. let's just add two more."

but that's it, i don't have this need to feel bad. because i guess there is a hope. not just for me, but for all of us.  my scars have healed, (as much as they can). 

my lungs will never again be poisoned. and alcohol, won't ever seduce me the way it did him. my two packs are gone. those magazines that i first saw at such a young house. are fading away. 

and my hatred is slowly turning,  i'm not as bitter. love is important.