I don't know if you still read these.

You used to tell me that you wanted me to see myself as you saw me.
And now I tell others that-
You probably were my best friend-
I guess it's good to have others now.
(Well if I actually hadn't pushed everyone away) 

because I pushed everyone away. it wasn't just you-
and it wasn't just her- and him.
it was everyone- I thought I could handle this sort of isolation, but I realize that I can't. but I don't also know how to get back the relationships I had. I need someone that I can tell all my secrets to again- because holing on to them is like holding on to ten thousand stone balloons and jumping off the pier.